Lori Does Maryland: Clubs

You are welcome to drive to UM and come and be a guest in my kindergarten classroom if you miss it that much. This year the hustle and bustle of a new classroom is bittersweet becase Anthony should have just arrived. I should no to have to think is that too heavy I dont want anything to happen to this baby. All I could think about today at the K walkthrogh was how long will it be before they say I may have to leave. I have not even met this new group yet and already I am concerned about their well-being and education. Tis the joy of the life of an educator. Enjoy your well deserved break. You have a more important job title right now.

Getting Anxious

Well there are a few more days until my first BETA. It is driving me crazy. I truly beleive that I will have good numbers but I am nervous. I am really tempted to take a HPT but I am trying to wait until Friday at 8:30 and then to hear Crystal call me all excited and say Talisa your numbers are __________ thats so great. I am also trying not to put myself in a place where I will be easily dissappointed. What will the next few days bring? What can I do to keep myself busy and my mind clear? I don't know yet, but I will think of something.

Happy Anniversary!

I know he doesnt read this but today is a special day for my hunny bunny and I. Today is our 2nd Wedding Anniversary. Today is a little bittersweet as we thought Anthony would be with us, but the sweet piece is that prayerfully in two short weeks we will get our BFP. Hopefully Anthony is telling his sibling to stick after the Embryo transfer on Saturday. Tomorrow our vacation begins so I can relax. Two years ago at this time I was getting ready. I was home from the hairdresser, getting upset because all of the girls were not at the house. The wedding was supposed to start in three hours. But the day was perfect. I married my best friend, my life partner. Who would have thought that less than 2 years later we would have one of the most difficult experiences of out lives. We stuck through it and brought each other through. Now we are prayerfully on the journey to parenthood. With Gods help I know we will get there. Pray for our safe travel and return.

Tomorrow! Again

Today was supposed to be my due date. I am greatful that I am feeling very peaceful, I even went and got a pedicure. Needed that so bad. Well tomorrow is my embryo transfer. I am optimistic and prayerful about what God has in store for us. There are 23 little possibilities that are waiting for their mommy tomorrow. I am sure that we will choose the absolute best one. Regardless of the outcome I will continue to praise God for my life and health. If I could speak to my son this is what I would say.......

Hey Anthony,
Mommy wants you to know that you are always thought of and forever in her heart. Your daddy and I thought that we would possibly be meeting you today but our Heavenly Father had other plans. He gave us you so that one day your brothers and sisters will make it safely here. Without you Mommy would have never known that ther was a problem with her cervix. Without you Mommy and Daddy would have never known how truly strong their relationship is and will continue to be. Without you we would not have been parents. While you only grew in me almost 19 short weeks you were very much loved since before you were conceived. Let me tell you a secret. Mommy was told that she would not have it easy having children. Boy did they hit the nail on the head. That is ok, the experiences that I've had make me cherish each and every child more and more. Sometimes I think that I cherish my students more than there own parents because I know how extremely precious bringing a child into this world can be. I am so happy that you are at Grandma's house where I can see you whenever I go over. I know its not often enough but that is because I know that your body was just a mere vessel that your spirit was inside. You had a job to do and you fulfilled your mission. While I wanted you here God needed you more. I love you always little boy, today, tomorrow and always.

Tomorrow is the Day

Tomorrow morning is what we have been waiting for all summer. We started this IVF journey back in May when we got the green light to try again. Tomorrow we go in for egg retrieval. I am scared and excited at the same time. I know that God truly has my back. I am going to trust and believe in his promises. Appointment is at 10:15. We go in at 8:45. I will solicit your prayers that all goes well. I thank you in advance.

Talisa

Stim Day 7

Today is Stim day 7 for me. My levels are rapidly rising estrogen was in the 600's yesterday and today was over 1000. My doctor thought I was a high responder and he was right. They are monitoring me closely so I am praying that all goes well. I am excited to hear that I may trigger on Saturday or Sunday. That means Egg retrieval is next week. I am praying for a good outcome out of this whole thing, I am making sure to protect my heart. There are so many success stories. Lori from Lori Does Maryland and my friend Eve. I know that God has a lot in store for me so I am being patient to see what the end result will be. I am giving it all to him. He is truly the Author and Finisher of my Faith. I will be blessed regardless.
I pray for continued peace and blessings to each and every one of you.

Day 5

Have not posted in a while but I have been here. It is Stim day five for me. Everything is looking good. My due date with Anthony is quickly approaching and for now I am at peace. I guess knowing that we are working on this invitro cycle is giving me a sense of calm. Nothing can replace my first born. (Anthony mommy loves you and misses you everyday) I have a sense of hope knowing of the potential of a sister or brother. Will and I are in a better place, we never had a true bad place since March 1, 2010 but I think he is starting to feel like he has the old Talisa back. I am glad that she is back too. I know that God has something big in store for me and I can't wait. I can't wait for him to use me. After church yesterday all I could hear was God is going to use you BIG. I know I am not always as obedient as I should be, that is something I need to work on. The biggest part is that I know this and am willing to put in the work to do better. Maybe this Bible Study on forgiveness is what I need. I have never truly been angry with God about what happened. I just had questions, but HE has given me the answers that I need. This next go round there is a game plan and for that I am truly greatful.

In the hospital I asked God to allow this experience to be a blessing to someone else. I am ready and willing to make that happen. I know he continues to bless me and be with me as I endure this journey. The song is playing on my ipod right now "I give myself away to you Lord, My life is truly not my own, to You I belong, I give myself to you!" I give myself to you. Anthony's life was not mine he was yours and I gave him to you, you did not take him, I gave him because you needed him more. That makes me smile. I gave my only son so that he could be used to your glory.
The tears are streaming now, I need a tissue and to go eat after a workout. These are not tears of sadness but tears of gladness.

'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord,

'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.' "

Jeremiah 29:11-13

This is Gods promise and I truly beleive it each and every day. Have a great day everyone!